Unicorn women are named after a mythical creature that is equally hard to find. If you are the couple looking for a third to join your relationship, the task may be even over before you start it. You have conditions or criteria that your unicorn must meet, unrealistically impossible in many cases.
Unicorns are defined as bisexual women that join an already stable relationship. Couples usually look for unicorns to add fire to their love, but this fantasy never goes well. First, you may spend months hunting for the right person. Secondly, the so-called triad may fail to last because of the differences among the parties involved. But what makes unicorn hunting such a time-consuming process?
We indeed have varying needs when it comes to our partners. What you are looking for in a person to get intimate with is not the same as what the other person needs. That means you may get along well with a potential unicorn who, in turn, does not like your existing partner. It can also be the other way round. If your partner doesn’t like her, the relationship is dead long before it starts.
Many people assume that their partners will like their choice, but they are wrong. It doesn’t mean that if you are getting along with person A and B, then A and B should also like each other. Most unicorn hunters have such fallacies, which only scare away potential unicorns.
In many cases, couples looking for unicorns make irrational claims to meet their needs. More often than not, they never consider the feelings of the third party. The criteria or conditions they set never account for the unicorn's opinions. To a sensible person, they will stay away from an attempt to get into such a seemingly toxic relationship.
A third party in a relationship should benefit both of you. However, you can never get the same treatment from a single person. Throughout the history of the human race, there has never been a single proof of a person loving or getting intimate with two people equally.
Some couples demand equal treatment, thinking they are dealing with jealousy in a triad. Whether you like it or not, jealousy will ever be part of such relationships. Also, remember that your unicorn is not a machine that can be set to dispense the same quantity of a particular item. When you include this condition in your agreement statement, you turn away that potential third.
Many people may not be comfortable with group sex. Setting a condition for them to only have sex with both of you will do more harm to your hunt than good. We understand that it may be your strategy to deal with jealousy, but it doesn’t work most of the time.
A relationship is better built with two people. If you want emotional attachment, you need to spend more private time with your partner. And even if you find a unicorn who accepts this criterion, the relationship may not last. You can be having group sex, but you can never completely eliminate jealousy. Find other ways of dealing with it and stop restricting your unicorn from getting intimate with anyone of you at will.
Many couples looking for unicorns never care about their feelings, and if they do, they blatantly ignore it. Fearing sexually transmitted diseases, they want to control the lifestyle of the other partner. That can be possible if you take her in permanently, but how many triad relationships last?
Trust is a big challenge in a triad or polyamory. Demanding it by controlling a potential unicorn will only drive her away. If you tell her to abandon her relationship or never to have sex with other people, you may be breaking the deal. You may be right worrying about your health and well-being, but that can be the obstacle that stops you from finding that third woman.
This is more related to the first point we discussed but let’s give it a different view. Most couples think of themselves as a complete unit, which is true. They, therefore, look for one woman to love them both simultaneously. You can find her, yes, but what happens when she differs from one of you?
If a unicorn breaks up with one partner, she is also bound to break with all two partners and is the condition most couples set. It is like telling her to have you both or lose you both. Well, you can move on to find another woman to replace her, but have you considered her feelings? Dealing with a double breakup can be detrimental, and not many women get over it.
Let’s first admit that unicorns are hard to find. It is not that they are not there, but it may approach the whole process that scares them away. First, acknowledge that they are also human beings with feelings and not sex toys or items you can shop for from an online store. Don’t be selfish to only think about yourself and your partner. You are not buying an escort to only entertain you.
Next, harmonize your requirements with your partner. If you cannot agree on any issue or condition, just don't try the triad. Never invite a third party into your relationship only to break it. Set realistic expectations that even you can agree to. Imagine yourself as the unicorn while approaching any potential third. Your potential unicorn will likely find the conditions favorable if they are to you.
Lastly, get into polyamory with caution. Most relationships don’t last for long periods after inviting a third party. Triad is not just for everyone, even if you fantasize about it.